When Life Stops Podcast

Season 2 Episode 2 Moving forward after a business Loss

Welcome to Episode 2, Season 2 of the When Life Stops podcast. We are glad to be back and we hope you enjoyed episode 1 where we gave you a breakdown of what we have both been up to since Season 1. Go check it out if you haven’t already.

We established in Season 1, Episode 3 that grief doesn’t only occur when there is bereavement. but it can occur as a result of any type of emotional loss. We also established that there are about 43 losses that can invoke the emotion of grief so in season 2 we want to showcase different people’s loss stories and how they were able to move forward from that.

 

Today’s topic is on how to move forward after a business fails. A lot of people experience business failures when a recession hits or a pandemic like we have all just experienced. 20% of small businesses fail in their first year, 30% of small businesses fail in their second year, and 50% of small businesses fail after five years in business. Finally, 70% of small business owners fail in their 10th year in business.

When people lose their business, their livelihood is definitely affected and this can have an effect on their mental, emotional, physical well being and even relationships. It can even make one question their identity especially if they had a thriving business before it collapsed. 

Today, we are very excited to be interviewing our very first guest for this season, Toks Aruoture. Toks is going to be sharing some of her story with us. If you are a business owner or have experienced the failure of a business or similar then this episode is for you.

We know that you would find it both insightful and instructive!

If you would like to contact us to discuss further anything mentioned in today's episode please feel free to send us an email at hello@whenlifestops.org

You can also contact our guest here 

You can listen to Tok's podcast here

 

Please leave us a comment, subscribe to our podcast on any app you listen to us via, and leave us a 5-star rating so others can benefit from the amazing content we have on the when life stops podcast.

Till next week, we pray you find the grace to find new meaning to life after loss. Good bye!

*Disclaimer*

The views and opinions expressed in guest episodes are those of the guests. Their experiences are unique to them and do not necessarily represent or reflect the opinions or position of the When Life Stops Podcast. The information, opinions, and recommendations presented in this Podcast are for general information only and any reliance on the information provided in this Podcast should be carefully considered.

Season 2 Episode 1 Life Post Lockdown

We are back!!! The When life Stop podcast is back!!!! Yay!!! 

We are Detola and Stella, Two mothers, two grievers, we have experienced minor and major losses. We have learned and unlearned so much on the journey, Stella is a Grief support counsellor and Detola is a Grief recovery specialist and we want to share with you what has helped us on the journey.

In the first episode of season 2, we share our experience post lockdown and the scoop on what we have been up to since we last aired season 1.

We share about the amazing work Detola is doing with her clients as a grief recovery specialist: To know more about if the Grief Recovery Method is for you, book a free consultation session with Detola here @ https://detolamure.com/grief-recovery/

you can also donate to My Little Warrior Foundation here: https://gofund.me/ed8f327c

Stella also shares about her latest book Untethered which can be purchased on Amazon here or here https://stellaagwor.com/

Feel free to reach us on https://whenlifestops.org/ or send us an email at hello@whenlifestops.org

 

We hope you enjoyed this episode and we look forward to hearing from you!

Season 2 Trailer

We are back!!! The When life Stop podcast is back!!!! Yay!!! 

We know the past two years have been really challenging. There have been so many losses on every front, perhaps, life may have stopped for you. And you may be wondering if you can ever recover and move forward.  

Or you are a friend or family to someone who has loved and lost? Then join us on the When Life stops, a podcast where we help you find new meaning after loss.

We are Detola and Stella, Two mothers, two grievers, we have experienced minor and major losses. We have learned and unlearned so much on the journey, Stella is a Grief support counsellor and Detola is a Grief recovery specialist and we want to share with you what has helped us on the journey.

 We are so excited to let you know that season 2 will be back next Wednesday. We have some exciting topics lined up for you. We also have 8 amazing guests come to share their experiences of loss.  

They will be sharing how they moved forward from their individual losses such as the death of a spouse, divorce, multiple miscarriages, business loss, parental loss, and much more.

All episodes are packed with so much content and value. We are really really looking forward to sharing this season with you.

We are so grateful for all the love and engagement we got from season 1. We couldn’t have done it without you. If you found season 1 valuable, season 2 promises to be more transformational. If you haven’t already, we would like to invite you to go subscribe now on any podcast apps.

Please share with your friends and family who may be going through one loss or the other, or have gone through loss in the past and those who want to support those who have loved and lost. Society hasn’t taught us how to deal with loss and we want to share how you can support your loved ones through their losses. And truth be told we are all going to experience one loss or the other throughout our lifetime so everything we share is going to be relevant.

 

Yes, that’s it! Ok friends, remember to check back next week Wednesday, don’t forget! When we launch the very first episode of when life stops season 2, a podcast on finding new meaning after loss

 See you soon!

 

Feel free to reach us on https://whenlifestops.org/ or send us an email at hello@whenlifestops.org

Episode 13 Seeking help after loss

 

We have come to the final episode of this season! Over the course of the episodes in this season we have shared tips and action steps you can take however today we wanted to dive into seeking deeper healing work to recover from your loss.

 

We share our own personal stories on recovery and where people can begin to seek for help after bereavement.

 

Recovery is being able to enjoy fond memories without having them turn painful.

Recovering from significant emotional loss is not an easy task and it will require your open-mindedness, willingness, and courage. 

Recovery from loss is achieved by a series of small and correct choices made by the griever. And this is what we wanted to come share with you today.

 

We shared the different sources of help such as family and friends. 

 

The NHS website in the UK has a link to various organisations so please check it out.

In Nigeria we mention The Healing Cradle run by Bolatito Bez-Idakula

 

For children there is 

• Winston's Wish
• SANDS

• Childline

• Cruse Bereavement Care

• Cruse Bereavement Care (Scotland)

• Grief Encounter

 

Stella shared how she got support and started her support group for bereaved mothers: Angels Support Group.

 

Detola shared about the Grief Recovery programme, how it helped her and how she became a Grief Recovery Specialist. You can check it them : 

 

You can also go to Detola’s website if you need her support with your grief- www.detolamure.com/grief

Episode 12 Loss and Its impact on Business, Career and Dreams.

Episode 12: Loss and the impact on your business, job and dreams 

Welcome to episode 12 of When life stops, a podcast on finding new meaning after loss.  We are nearly at the end of season 1 of this podcast and it has been humbling getting feedback, emails, comments from you all. We don’t take it for granted that you tune in each time we drop a new episode. 

Today’s topic is centered on loss and the impact it has on your livelihood- your business, job and dreams. 

We talk about how the tendency to want to keep busy after a loss actually suppresses our grief.  We shared in Episode 2 some typical grief responses and one of the things we mentioned was reduced concentration and we relate that to how much financial impact it has on grievers, employers and business owners.

The Grief Recovery Institute published a groundbreaking report called the Grief Index aimed at examining the financial impact of grief and we present some of this information, updated and applied to UK statistics along with some strategies business owners can take back to their businesses that will allow them to mitigate some of these costs.

When we take these figures into account, employers need to check whether their employment policy encourages people to work too soon after a major grief causing life events, therefore, costing more to the bottom line than allowing them more compassionate leave. 
In this episode, we encourage you to prioritize your health, find out what your employment policy is concerning bereavement or loss in general, speak to your doctor and always ask God for strength. 
Thank you once more for tuning in today, we enjoy reading from you. Please leave us a review on the podcast app you are listening from, leave us a rating and pls share this podcast with anyone you know who may be experiencing loss. 

Also, feel free to email us at hello@whenlifestops.

For more information about us go to our website or connect with us via Instagram.

http://whenlifestops.org

https://www.instagram.com/stellaagwor/

https://www.instagram.com/detolaamure/

With love,

Detola & Stella.

EPISODE 11: Loss and its Impact On Extended Family & Friendships

Episode 11: Loss and its Impact On Extended Family and Friendships

Hey listeners, welcome to Episode 11 of The When Life Stops podcast, a show where we talk about all this loss, grief and recovery and our aim is to equip you so you can move forward and find new meaning to life.

On this episode, we dive into the impact of loss and its impact on extended family and friendships. 

We share our experiences of the impact our losses had on our extended families and also friends and even work colleagues.

 

We discussed how a death in a family can lead to a roller coaster of emotions,  alongside the pressure to make important decisions,  so tempers may flare, hurtful things might be said and relationships even those that were once beautiful might suffer.

So if you are aware of this, you can deal with each other with more understanding. 

 

We shared a few tips on how to deal effectively with extended family members.

1. Understand that everyone is different and grieves differently. 
2. It is ok to have healthy boundaries 
3. Reaffirm your love 
4. If you have responsibilities and duties that you carried out for your extended family assign someone else to them
5. We encourage members of the extended family to seek help especially when they are struggling to recover from the loss themselves 
6. Remove yourself from feelings of guilt and blame. Do not accept any blame for loss, we talked about this in Episode 4
7. Talk talk talk, communication is key, talk to your loved ones about what is helpful, what is not, talk to them about their feelings if you can handle it, when you can’t talk we encourage you to keep a log in your diary or journal
8. Sadly, there would be hurts, misunderstandings and disputes, forgive, forgive forgive, apologise where it is necessary but seek to maintain cordial relationships with relatives 

We talked about experiencing disappointment in some of our friendships yet at the same time we discovered new friendships.

We explored some of the typical expressions of how grief changes friendships. We expressed that after a loss you are not the same person. Loss changes you and without friends who are empathetic and patient,  you would feel lonely and isolated.

 

We then discussed how you can stay friendly. We also shared tips for a friend to show support for a friend who has experienced loss:

1. Be empathetic
2. Don't ask them to call you if they need anything, truth is they won't. 
3. Communication is everything
4. When they do talk, listen, show up and offer them the gift of your presence
5. Love is an action word, show your love by doing
6. If you really want to be there for a friend, there are so many resources out there to help, ignorance is not an excuse,  you might not know what to say,  but you can learn.
7. Make an effort to check up on them, especially on anniversary,  holidays and celebrations. 
8. Share in their pain, and let it transform you. 

 

We hope you found great value in this episode.

 

We are available to help and support anyone who would require our help and you can reach us by sending us an email at 

hello@whenlifestops.org

 

For more information about us go to our website

 

http://whenlifestops.org

 

https://www.instagram.com/stellaagwor/

https://www.instagram.com/detolaamure/

 

Please share with anyone who is going through loss, like, comment and subscribe to our podcast on wherever you listen to your podcast. 

 

Keeping taking little steps every day that would move you forward and help you find new meaning to life.

 

Thank you for listening, till next week

 

Good bye.

Detola & Stella

Episode 10 Impact of Sibling Loss

Welcome to episode 10 of the When Life Stops podcast. Today’s topic is on the impact of sibling loss and we are very excited to be interviewing another amazing guest Amanda Badzrah 

 

Loss and its impact on siblings cannot be overlooked. Studies have shown that sibling loss is associated with an increased risk of death from external causes (i.e. suicides, illnesses, accidents, and homicides) and increased psychiatric health problems following bereavement could underlie such an association.

 

In this very open and insightful episode, our guest shares her story of losing her brother at a young age, the effect it had on her, and how her parents grieved.

 

She shares how she experienced healing and leaves us with some advice for parents and siblings still struggling to recover from their loss and how they too can find new meaning after loss.

 

If you would like to connect with Amanda Bedzrah on social media you can do so via her website here

 

http://amandabedzrah.com/about-me/. You can get Amanda's Book : Overcoming The Fear of Death here: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Overcoming-Fear-Death-Amanda-Bedzrah-ebook/dp/B06WD1R8RM

 

We are available to help and support anyone who would require our help and you can reach us by sending us an email at 

hello@whenlifestops.org

 

For more information about us go to our website

 

http://whenlifestops.org

 

https://www.instagram.com/stellaagwor/

https://www.instagram.com/detolaamure/

If you have found this episode valuable we ask that you please share especially with anyone you know who has experienced sibling loss, like, comment, and subscribe to this podcast on whatever podcast app that you are listening from.

 

God bless you and see you next week.

Lots of love,

Detola & Stella

*Disclaimer*

The views and opinions expressed in guest episodes are those of the guests. Their experiences are unique to them and do not necessarily represent or reflect the opinions or position of the When Life Stops Podcast. The information, opinions, and recommendations presented in this Podcast are for general information only and any reliance on the information provided in this Podcast should be carefully considered.

Episode 9: Loss and it's impact on marriage Part 2

Welcome back to episode 9 on when life stops, this is a show where we talk all things loss and we aim to equip you so you can find the tools and right coping mechanism to embrace grief and find healing and recovery.

Thank you for listening, So, in episode 8, we talked about the effects of loss on marriage and we discussed the encouraging percentage of marriages that make it after loss, the unique ways male and females grieve and the common problems marriages face after a loss.
So in this episode, which is a continuation, we would be talking about practical ways a couple can experience and deal with loss and their grieving journey both collectively and individually

We list some of the steps couples can take below.
1. Communication
2. Overcoming guilt
3. Giving each other permission to have fun and laugh 
4. Prioritise making new  memories
5. Forgive one another
6. Discuss healthy ways of preserving memories
7. Find a support group or others who have experienced a loss. 
8. Most importantly turn to God and seek his help comfort and healing. We emphasise that faith in God does not mean denying pain. We talked about being able to lament before God expressing our pain, disappointment, anger, and hurt and allowing him to heal us, we also encourage couples to stay in an atmosphere of praise and find comfort and healing in God’s word.

 

Jer 8:22 says this Is there no balm in Gilead? Is there no physician there? Why then is there no healing for the wound of my people? There is healing in God’s presence

9. Give yourself permission to live 
10. Helping other couples by sharing your story and supporting them through their own loss, helps to bring healing as you focus on someone else. Volunteering together also helps to foster and forge a bond in the marriage.
 

So loss as difficult as it is, does not have to be the end of a relationship. Life as a couple you once knew it has changed forever and you both have to be willing to relearn how to relate and communicate better to solve the problems that arise and equip yourself with the tools to embrace the new emotions that you would face.

Indeed you are not alone, be patient with one another and seek to take your eyes off yourself and include your partner in your journey.

Each couple would experience loss differently but the same love you had is still there and you have to uncover it and fight for it. With God on your side, you would not be a statistic.

We are available to help and support anyone who would require our help and you can reach us by sending us an email at 
hello@whenlifestops.org

For more information about us go to our website

http://whenlifestops.org

https://www.instagram.com/stellaagwor/

https://www.instagram.com/detolaamure/

If you have found this episode valuable we ask that you please share especially with any couple you know who has experienced loss.  Like, comment, and subscribe to this podcast on whatever podcast app that you are listening to us from.

God bless you and see you next week.

Lots of love.
Detola and Stella.

 

 

Episode 8 Part 1 loss and its impact on marriage

LOSS  AND ITS IMPACT ON MARRIAGE

 

Hello and welcome to episode 8 of When Life Stops, a podcast on finding new meaning after loss. What a journey we have been taking you, our dear listener on. Talking about all things loss and grief. Last week we had a very interesting interview with our guest speaker as we explored the subject of men and grief. So check it out if you missed it.

 

Today our conversation would center on loss and its impact on marriage. We have already established that so many losses impact marriage. 

 

We discussed in Episode 3 that there are over 43 losses that are considered to invoke grief but for the purpose of today's discourse we would limit it to death and focus more on child loss and how it affects marriage.

 

It has been said that it is not the death of a child that leads to parents divorcing but usually the judgement about how each partner is grieving the loss.

 

In this episode we discuss the skills, coping mechanisms, right support that makes a difference.We talk about how though loss is universal each family experiences loss uniquely and if there is an underlying crisis before the loss, that crisis begets more crisis and it puts a strain on the marriage relationship.

 

We also go a little in-depth to differentiate how both men and women react to loss too.  Understanding how men and women grieve is so important and crucial. We hope that the insights shared can better inform how men and women relate with regards to navigating through loss, but even so, this is not a one size fits all approach.

 

We also discuss some of the main problems couples can face

 With the most common being:

(1) Sexual problems, 

(2) Emotional distance,  isolation and preoccupation with self, 

 3) Increased conflict and/or fighting

(4) Drifting

 

Regardless of the state of the marriage, restoration is possible, recovery of love and affection is possible. Even though life would have changed for the couple and the life they once had might never be the same again we reassure our listeners that the storm and winds that blew were not designed to break but to build and make their homes and marriages stronger. 

 

We cover a lot in this episode but there is still a lot more to talk about and in episode 9 we shall attempt to delve deeper.

 

If this episode has triggered questions, please feel free to reach out to us.

 

We are available to help and support any one who would require our help and you can reach us by sending us an email at 

hello@whenlifestops.org

 

For more information about us go to our website

 

http://whenlifestops.org

 

https://www.instagram.com/stellaagwor/

https://www.instagram.com/detolaamure/

If you have found this episode valuable we ask that you please share with anyone you know who has experienced loss. Like, comment and subscribe to this podcast on whatever podcast app that you are listening from.

 

God bless you and see you next week.

Detola & Stella

 

 

Episode 7 Loss and its impact on men.

Hey Listeners,

We are super excited to have you join us on our very first guest interview on the when life stops podcast.

 

This is Episode 7 and if you missed out on any previous episodes, feel free to play catch up.

Today we have Mr. Abidemi Agwor ( Stella's amazing fine husband) join us and He would be sharing on Grief and its impact on men. We start the episode with the story of losing his 1-year-old daughter, grief from a man's perspective, societal and cultural taboos associated with men expressing emotions. He also talks about the impact of grief on his marriage and Job.

 

This episode promises not only to be educational but also very uplifting as Abidemi shares how he recovered and found healing,

He also leaves our male listeners and their spouses with some words of encouragement and advice. 

 

If you would like to connect with Abidemi on social media you can do so via his Instagram page here

 

https://instagram.com/abidemiagwor?igshid=mdd6ghl1yjw3

We are available to help and support anyone who would require our help and you can reach us by sending us an email at 

hello@whenlifestops.org

 

For more information about us go to our website

 

http://whenlifestops.org

 

https://www.instagram.com/stellaagwor/

 

https://www.instagram.com/detolaamure/

If you have found this episode valuable we ask that you please share, like, comment, and subscribe to this podcast on whatever podcast app that you are listening from.

 

God bless you and see you next week.